In Jiu-Jitsu, one of the most important questions you can ask yourself is: What is your why?
Everyone who steps onto the mat walks in with a different goal. For some, it’s to get in shape. For others, it’s self-defense, competition, discipline, or simply curiosity. The beauty of Jiu-Jitsu is that it meets people where they are—but it also demands that you grow. Just like your journey on the mat, your “why” will shift over time. It’s not meant to stay the same, but it is meant to guide you.
When I started, my why was survival—mentally, emotionally, and physically. I had just gotten out of the military. The structure I’d known for years was gone, and the civilian world felt chaotic, unorganized, and isolating. Within two months, I had gained 15 pounds—probably more, but let’s keep it at 15 for the sake of this story. What I missed most was the camaraderie of like-minded individuals, the challenge of being pushed, and the clarity of purpose that came with that life.
I knew about the UFC, and I found a local dojo. It was a karate school doing a bit of groundwork. It wasn’t exactly what I expected—but I was instantly hooked. That was the spark.
Since then, my “why” has changed more than a dozen times. Sometimes it was about reclaiming my health. Other times it was about winning. There were phases driven by failure, moments fueled by success. Every high and low reshaped my purpose, and that’s part of the process.
If you ask me now, my why isn’t just about me anymore.
These days, if I walked away, I’d be content with what I’ve done—for the sport, my family, my community, and my students. But I won’t walk away, because my why has evolved into something deeper: coaching. I don’t train just to grow—I train to give.
My “why” now is about taking a lifetime of lessons and passing them on. It’s about helping my students avoid the pitfalls I fell into. Teaching them how to fix the mistakes I made. Showing them how success can sometimes breed complacency, and how even small victories matter. It’s about being honest with them about the injuries and losses that still echo in my body and mind—and how those scars shape you.
So as you read this, I’ll ask you:
What is your why?
Are you chasing it with purpose? Or are you drifting away from it without realizing?
It’s okay if your answer isn’t perfect. But if you don’t know your why, you’re just going through the motions.
Take a moment today—before your next round, your next class, your next win or loss—and reflect.
Because knowing your why might just be the thing that carries you through when nothing else will.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche